How is it?

How is it at an age I feel I should be my happiest I’m my saddest?

How is it i dread each day that comes forward as the moon fades and the sun rises?

How is it I see myself as worthless when I should never feel this way?

How is it I see grey when everyone else sees colour?

How is it that some have everything and some have none?

How is it that they can have there own but I cannot?

How is it that they wake up each morning and long for tommorow when I cry about what tommorow may bring?

How is it I can smile for show and cry in quiet?

How is it I can laugh at jokes whilst I feel I am a joke?

How is it I see no happiness in my future?

How is it I believe I am doomed for failure?

Content but not happy

Is there anyone else at the moment who feels like they’ve come to cross roads In their life.

I’m content but not happy. Like is this what I should expect as a 24 year old student with a part time job, fiancé and child.

I thought everything would have fallen into place by now. I thought everything would have been perfect.

I’ve been turning to my writing but I keep finding I have writers block it’s seems like one thing after another.

How do you all deal with stress, the future, uncertainty even? If you have advice please drop a comment.

X

The Beast

Time had not been kind to her recently. She needed to sleep. To rest. She was scared. If she closed her eyes she might join her mother and father or she would wake tomorrow and have to endure another day of pain.

She had seen the beast take her mother. It gripped her body, refusing to let go. It won. The passing of her mother affected her father in ways only those who had lost a soulmate could know about. He became a shadow of his former self. He had tried for her sake, but she knew it was not his fault when he decided to join her mother. It had become too much. The beast had destroyed him as well.

She was at the age to take care of herself and she had done well considering the quickness of both her parents passing. It was not her father’s fault, no one was to have known the beast would begin its destruction on her as well. She often wished the beast would take her quickly so she could join them both. Of course, though she knew she should try to beat the beast with all she had, that’s what her parents would have told her to do.

She had been given a head start, they had spotted it early. By the time they had found the beast in her mother all anybody could do was watch it destroy her.

She had known that the beast might come for her at some point but so soon after her mother’s death shocked her. It shocked everyone. She often thought about how inconsiderate it was. The beast showed no remorse. First, it took her mother, then her father, now it wanted her as well.

Catching the beast early had thrown her a lifeline. There were options available. Options that were not available to her mother. One failed before it had even started. For the beast was too large for extraction. The best hope was to try and flush the beast out. This was however a very evasive procedure.

The beast had taken her energy. Her body grew tired quickly, not as fast as her mothers had, but fast enough that she found it too tiring to stand for long. She became skin and bone, the curves she shared with her mother disappeared. Parts of her became loose. It was hard trying to fight the beast. Her mother had not seen this stage. The beast took her far too quickly. Like it had her mother it was sucking the life out of her.

After months of flushing, multiple times a week, it began to have the desired effect. The beast slowly began to give her back.

She wondered if her mother and father were fighting the beast from the other side. The image made her smile. Her mother and father together once again fighting cancerous cells in a battle. For the beast would not take their little girl.

Catching up

Good evening everyone 🙂

I cannot believe it has nearly been a year since my last post.

The last ten months have been very fast moving and lots have happened.

I finished my dissertation and tv project receiving firsts for both, which took up a lot of my time last year but were well worth it.

I finished my undergraduate degree in multimedia journalism and graduated in September.

I then threw myself straight into a masters degree in creative and professional writing.  Which I am loving 🙂 and learning so much continuously about how to improve my writing.

I am promising to write more this year and share with you all my short stories. I hope you will love them all from the funny to the more somber ones.

 

🙂

 

 

Morning guys, I could use your help :)

 

Morning Guys,

I hope you are all well and enjoying the rare bit of sunshine and heat that some of us have had the pleasure of experiencing the last few days.

So my university degree is almost over, I cannot believe it, it has been 3 years of hard work, stress, laughter and learning.

I could actually use your help, if you are able to can you spare a few minuets to take part in my short survey   for my dissertation on trust in television news.

 

 

Thank you 🙂 🙂 🙂

Emma

x

 

 

 

 

 

Weight loss journey

As a bigger lady, I never really had any intentions of loosing weight. There have been more times when I have been happier with my size, than times when I’ve been unhappy with it. However as my university course is coming to an end and I will soon be embarking and trying to find a job I love, I feel now is the right time to loose some weight. I have set myself a goal to try and get down to a size 12-14 by September, which is when I will graduate.

I’ve decided to start using this blog again and use it as a focus for loosing weight. I joined weight watchers just over a week ago and I must say as someone who has used other weight groups, this one seems to be really working for me. In my first week I lost six pounds, which for me was amazing and I am feeling so much more confident now.

So let me tell you a bit more about weight watchers. First of I must make it clear I am not being paid by weight watchers of anything to write this post. It doesn’t work for everyone but so far it is working out for me. When you start you are given log in details for online, if you choose the online plan as well as the meetings. You can access the app as well, which is amazing and I use it around six times a day.

Pretty much every food/meal is on the app, you click on the item and it will have smart points next to it. When you first start you are given a number of points you should aim at  using each day and then there are the weekly points which can be used if your going out for a meal or fancy a treat. My daily point allowance is 26, with a weekly 42.

It is a really great way to keep track of what your eating and you don’t have to starve yourself. You can essentially eat what you like. I have been eating the stuff I love, like lots of vegetables and potatoes, yes potatoes!

I hope you will continue to follow my weight loss journey, please feel free to comment or get in touch with me

 

🙂

 

 

 

7 THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE YOUR WORK EXPERIENCE

THE THRILL OF DRESSING UP

So I love the idea of getting on a train to where ever, with my Fiorelli laptop bag in one hand and a Starbucks in the other. Of-course they need to be joined by a sophisticated wardrobe to match. It just makes me feel amazing. I guess it’s the idea of looking like you’ve made it, well it is for me anyway. Every morning I would pick out one of the outfits that I spent quite a fair bit of money on leading up to my work experience and feel completely different to when I’d wear if I was popping into town.

 

TEA

So before work experience you get told that if you don’t make everyone a cuppa on the first day then don’t bother going back kinda thing.  Well you work as a team, you make tea, they offer tea, its a 50/50 job.

 

PACK A LUNCH

By all means if you can afford it buy your 4 Starbucks a day and spend near on a tenner on lunch. But you will save a tone of money taking your own lunch and most places will have a kitchenette with a fridge and microwave, so pasta’s and rice get the thumbs up.

 

FOOTWEAR

This is quite an important one especially for us ladies. If you know you are going to be inside for the whole time at your work experience than wear whatever shoes you like, as long as you are comfortable. I have been fortunate to be doing work experience placements in journalism, and have been asked to go out and interview people and so on. In this type of career you never know when your going to be asked to go out and how far you may need to travel. So remember ladies it is important ladies to consider your footwear with caution.

 

NOTES

Whether your in a salon learning the ropes for a week or at a magazine, take notes. You are on a learning experience. You will need to take notes at some point.

 

RESEARCH & PREPARE

Make sure you know your work experience placement. Even if you Goggle them or just look at their web page. Don’t turn up not knowing anything about them, it’s really unprofessional. Make sure you know there style and a bit of their history.

 

CONTACT

Make sure you add the people you’ve worked with to your e.mail contacts, Twitter and LinkedIn accounts. It’s good to make contacts for yourself, so in the future you may be able to go back and get a job or help with something and so on. They may come in handy to know and be able to contact.

[First published on Kettle Mag]

THANKS FOR READING

EMMA

X

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tea time at Shelly’s

Hi guys,

I had some time to spare after arriving at location early on my weeks work experience with ITV Meridian, so  I had a little wonder around St Margarets at Cliffe, just of off Dover. This is where I found the quaint Shelly’s tea room. With a colourful and bright blue exterior that matches the colour of sea,  it is the most adorable little gem in a magnificent surrounding with views to die for. On this particular day I could see the French coast line so clearly it was like it was 10 mins away.

Serving a selection of teas, from the classic English Breakfast Tea (my personal fav) , Earl Grey, Darjeeling, Peppermint and many more, to long to list, as well as coffee and soft drinks, you will have plenty to choose from. There is also a range of homemade cakes, which just all looked to scummy to eat including my favourites country carrot cake and classic Victoria sponge.

The great thing about Shelly’s is that they offer a range of food as well, from jacket potatoes, to salad, to curry’s and hot breakfasts. There is also a range of fresh delicate finger sandwiches and baguettes.

For more information on Shelly’s I have put a link below.

Shelly’s tea rooms

 

THANKS FOR READING

EMMA

X

 

 

BLUE SKY BLUE EYES

As the sky is bright blue I decided to match my eyes.

image

‘Benefit they’re real’ mascara blue
I only wear this mascara now and then when I feel like adding a splash of colour to my face. I absolutely love how vibrant it is and it really suits people with blue eyes.

A blue eyeliner which I purchased on my travels in southern France.  It’s a slightly darker shade then the mascara itself which works really well.

image

THANKS FOR READING
EMMA
X

3 BEAUTY BUYS THAT HAVE STOLEN MY <3

I know I’ve been absent for a while and I can only apologise. This post consists of three new beauty products that have honestly stolen my <3.


ONE

Laura Geller New York – Baked Mediterranean Bronzer – Moroccan Bronze 

If you’ve read any of my previous posts you will know how much I love Laura Geller makeup and this bronzer is no exception. Normally I’m not a girl who ventures into the bronzer world but I decided to give this one a go and well I love it! Its subtle enough for me, which is what I love and it lasts as well. Another thing I love  is that it is honestly designed with style in mind. Just looking at it honestly make a little grin appear on my face, especially with the added bonus of a little mirror.

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TWO

Leighton Denny – Miracle Mist – Speed drying spray for nail polish

Whenever I paint my nails they end up smudging within a minute or so because Im such a clumsy person and impatient so never wait for them to dry properly. If your like me then this product is perfect for you. I received this product in my monthly ‘Glossybox’, and well I was a bit skeptical at first. But I was definitely proven wrong. Honestly if I had known such a product existed before I would have purchased it. It really does work girls!

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THREE

George at ASDA – Matte primer matte

I’m a student so where I can save money I will. This primer is something that I’ve bought about three times now and I thought it was about time it deserved some recognition on my blog. I used to spend a fortune on primers but honestly I wont be any longer, because this little gem of a primer works just as well. Some days I’ve just worn it instead of any foundation. It’s such a silky smooth texture as well and lasts me all day even in the heat which I’ve had trouble with primers in the past with before.

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THANKS FOR READING

EMMA

X